Talk:Gender Fluid/@comment-39796718-20190613132317
Okay. I have a bit of a problem and I would be extremely grateful if anyone can help me. I was born female, and until about the beginning of the last school year (so when I was twelve, about to turn thirteen) I hadn't experienced any dysphoria, or if I did I didn't notice or didn't identify it as dysphoria. I came out to my dad as Queer (I don't really use a specific label because I don't know at this point what my sexuality is, either, I just like PEOPLE.) It was soon AFTER that when I felt free to use the internet to do further looking into the LGBT community. I really quickly became very interested in gender, and I seemed to have this weird feeling like a stone in my stomach, like I was extremely nervous, but I had NO IDEA why. It was around this time when I was first questioning that my teacher decided to rearrange the seats in our classroom. I got partnered in a group of two desks with a girl that I'll call Iggy. Iggy had a metal waterbottle that said "I'm Bi" on it, so I figured she was as safe a person to talk to as one of my friends. One day we were discussing it and I mentioned something about my crushes on male celebrities. To my distress Iggy responded with, "I thought you were LESBIAN?" not unkindly. I replied that I don't really know, I just like PEOPLE, but I tend to prefer girls. It was then that the topic of gender came up. I told Iggy that "Sometimes I feel like a girl. Sometimes I feel like a boy. I don't know what it's called." and Iggy informed me that the term was "genderfluid". It was AFTER that that the most intense feelings of dysphoria set in. I would wake up and immediately ask myself, "Am I a boy or a girl today?" Most of the time I would just brush it off and be like "I'm obviously a girl. I've always been a girl, period." But....Lately, I've come to realize that most of the time I feel like a boy. But, I've never been told anything about coming out as non-cis or anything, and it feels so much harder than coming out as Queer. But that's not my main problem. My main problem is, I NEED to know more about my gender BEFORE I tell my family. To fill you in so you can better help me, I'll look at the journal I've been keeping to give you a better ratio of the FEMALE/MALE thing I've got going. Out of the ten days that I've written in my journal so far, 4 I was a girl, 3 I was a boy, 1 I was both, 2 I didn't know. I can say, however, that this doesn't show an accurate representation of my ratio, as I tend to be in more of a journaling mood when I am female. So, I'll have to describe it on my own. My details: Sexuality: Queer. I prefer girls when I'm a girl and when I'm a boy I prefer boys, but I can like either in either mood. Gender: Right now I feel like a boy, so when I describe myself as having an almost even split of 50% boy and 50% girl, the stone in my stomach comes back. Name: Most people don't know, so they still call me by my birth name, but I prefer the boy name Kaleb. Other: I've only experienced this for less than a year, and it's gotten more intense as time goes on. Also, I feel NO desire to change my, erm, bottom private parts, but I WOULD like to have a male chest. So, If anyone can give me ANY help whatsoever, coming out advice, gender identities you think I might identify with that I should look into, good websites for advice, that would be appreciated.